I came across this excerpt in William J. Bennett's The Spirit of America (1997, pp. 149-150).
Benjamin Franklin freely admitted that there was a time in his life when he himself followed these rules for making himself disagreeable in company... [he] noted that a friend once told him that he could be quite rude and argumentative when he was trying to make a point. This friend made an impression, and Franklin changed. Here... [in the "Rules" below], Franklin with his usual sharp wit, offers some advice to those who still don't get it. "Self-esteem," as Franklin describes it, is certainly not a virtue, for it ends up esteeming itself.
"Rules, by the Observation of which, a Man of Wit and Learning may nevertheless make himself a disagreeable Companion, " Pennsylvania Gazette, November 15, 1750.
Your business is to Shine; therefore, you must by all means prevent the shining of others, for their Brightness may make yours the less distinguished. To this end,
1. If possible, engross the whole Discourse; and when other Matter fails, talk much of your-self, your Education, your Knowledge, your Circumstances, your Successes in Business, your Victories in Disputes, your own wise Sayings and Observations on particular Occassions, etc.
2. If when you are out of Breath, one of the Company should seize the opportunity of saying something; watch his Words, and if possible, find somewhat either in his Sentiment or Expression, immediately to contradict and raise a Dispute upon. Rather than fail, criticise even his Grammar.
3. If another should be saying an indisputably good Thing; either give no Attention to it; or interrupt him; or draw away the Attention of others; or if you can guess what he would be at, be quick and say it before him; or, if he gets it said, and you perceive the Company pleased with it, own it to be a good Thing, and remark that it had been said by...some other eminent Writer; thus you deprive him of the Reputation he might have gained by it, and gain some yourself...
4. When modest Men have been thus treated by you a few times, they will [choose] ever after to be silent in your Company; then you may shine on without Fear of a Rival; rallying them at the same time for their Dullness, which will be to you a new Fund of Wit.
Thus, you will be sure to please yourself. The polite Man aims at pleasing others, but you shall go beyond him even in that...
